Journey to Happiness - Step #3: Be Assertive

I am a nice person. I grew up believing that doing good to others would benefit me in the long run. Sure, there is even an old saying that if you treat others well, they will also treat you well. But as I mingle with different people, I noticed that it's not necessarily going to happen. Sometimes, my being nice even made me into a doormat. I'd become an under appreciated, sad, cynical, and resentful person because of that.

But then I realized, in order to change how people treat me, I should change myself first. By voicing out my thoughts and feelings more often, other people would know what I want. This is called assertiveness. It is not being egotistical. It is not being aggressive. It is simply putting your own needs equal to others' needs. Tell people what you want, also listen to what they want, then reach for a resolution.

Journey to Happiness - Step #2: Think of One Happy Thought Each Day

I remembered one of the topics I've learned from my Psychology classes about a form of therapy called Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. It's about "fixing" a patient's illogical thoughts  to control his/her anxiety or neuroticism. Likewise, when it comes to happiness, a huge chunk of it comes from the way we think. As cliche as it may sound, it's all about our attitude.

Many times, we get sad because of the thoughts that pop in our head. It might be about a painful past. Or about the uncertainty of the future. It may also be about the present that isn't too favorable to us. Whatever the reasons we may have, we know that thinking about sad thoughts won't lead us to a solution. 

So, just for a change, whenever a sad thought strikes us, instead of allowing that thought to conquer our minds, let's try to push the thought away. Let's keep our minds busy by thinking of happy thoughts instead. Think about one good thing someone has done to you. Or about a memorable vacation. Reminisce about how you've met your spouse. Think about a very inspiring movie you've just watched. And so on. As you practice thinking happy things, you'll notice that it becomes easier for your mind to be more positive. And the habit of positive thinking becomes an effortless act.

So, what good thought popped in your head today?

Journey to Happiness - Step #1: Organize Your Home

These past few weeks might be a tough one for many people. January blues following shortly after a jolly December. Perhaps the sadness may be due to the dullness of the month (in stark contrast with a festive previous month). Then it might even be a lot tougher to single people, especially now that the lovers' season is fast approaching. There are lots of factors why one might be blue right now. But instead of giving you reasons to believe that you should be sad too, I would instead focus on things that could make you happy. 

Join me in this series of blog posts where I too, search for happiness. Who doesn't want to be happy anyway? If you would love to share your own ideas, feel free to post a comment.